It's like Eat Pray Love, but with dongs.

The Edible Erotic Adventures of Esmerelda Poppingcorn is a saucy, sticky, and sensual romp through the world of food, as seen through the eyes of a thirty-something woman who can no longer repress her deepest, darkest sexual desires. And some of those desires involve ham.

This Substack is serialized food erotica, and it’s going to be uncomfortable for everyone involved. It might also make you want to bone, and if so, I wish you nothing but the best in your endeavors.

Every Thursday, a new chapter of Esmerelda’s adventures will be delivered straight to your inbox so you can read it at work. It is free to follow along with the stories (and occasional recipe), but the chapters with all the hardcore banging/ham are for subscriber eyes only, because if I freely dispense those chapters, I will get arrested.